The Two Things You Must Do To Change Your Life

The Two Things You Must Do To Change Your Life

The Two Things You Must Do To Change Your Life

If you’re like most people, you’ve vowed to eat better, exercise
more, save more money, get a better job, improve a relationship,
or some other worthwhile life change. Did it work for awhile,
but then you found yourself right back where you started? If you
answered yes, you’re not a failure, nor is change hopeless.
Realize that you’re among the majority of people who have
difficulty making life changes.

There are two things you need to know as you embark on a life
change. The first is that you hold one or more fundamental
beliefs that may impede your attempts at change. The second is
that you get a payoff-some benefit-from your current behavior.

A fundamental belief is a belief you hold about yourself or life
that is so fundamental-so ingrained in your being-that you make
decisions subconsciously in support of the belief.

Let’s take a common example-public speaking. Many people believe
they have an inherent limitation preventing them from
effectively speaking in other than very small groups. We form
these beliefs very early in life, perhaps from an unhappy
experience speaking before our third grade class, or listening
to a parent or other respected adult tell about their inability
to speak to groups. Once we absorb this belief-I can’t speak in
front of groups-it becomes a fundamental characteristic of self
image. And we will reject opportunities in jobs, in school, in
church, and in the community which require us to speak to
whatever size group we believe to be our limitation.

More serious and far reaching fundamental beliefs affect many of
us, among them:

– People won’t like me if they really know me; therefore, I
don’t let others get close to me. Someone holding this belief
will have difficulty sustaining an intimate relationship.

– I’m not as smart as other people; therefore, I have to work
twice as hard and never make mistakes. Someone holding this
belief may have difficulty balancing personal and work life, or
allowing themselves to make normal, human mistakes.

What fundamental beliefs do you hold that may impede the change
you’re attempting? Listening carefully to your self talk about
the change may steer you toward the answer. But be willing to
ask and answer some tough questions because we hold on dearly to
our fundamental beliefs-they are our sacred truths.

The second thing you should know about making changes to your
life, especially those changes that you seem to be resisting, is
that you are getting a payoff-some benefit-from your old ways.
It will be difficult to lose weight if you use food to overcome
anxious moments in your life. Without some alternative
comforting process to replace eating you may have no way of
overcoming anxiety.

To make a life change stick you’ll need to identify the benefit
you receive from your old way and provide another way to achieve
it. And you must identify and modify any fundamental belief that
is subconsciously causing you to resist the change

Copywrite 2005, all rights reserved. Jerry Lopper is an author,
personal coach, and consultant. Find your true purpose in life
at Review his latest book at

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